Modern Mythology: I <3 Balls Day

I might just celebrate Valentine’s Day now. 😉

The Twisted Rope

Gather around the camp fire once again as we delve into the myths and stories of our religion!

Set

During the ongoing battle for the Kingship of Egypt, Set and Horus found themselves in a large predicament. You see, each deity had been damaged from this battle – one losing his eye, and the other his testicles. It’s very painful to lose your testicles, you know! Through a series of wiley tricks and maneuvers, however, both were able to get their missing pieces restored to their former glory.

What Set didn’t know at the time, however, is that Thoth – “Astute in His Plans Who Fashioned All Things, Including Set’s Nuts” – gave him an even better set of balls as a way of saying thank you for taking the bad rap for the whole “felling Osiris” thing. When Set received his new shiny set of testicles, he was amazed at…

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Making Natron the Quick and Lazy Way

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Okay, it’s official. I’ve flunked Natron cooking class. My first attempts at making natron were an utter failure three times. Just so you can see what I did wrong, this was my process:

1 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

Place in a custard cup

Add barely enough water to dissolve

Let it dry for 3-4 days.

So by the fourth day I’d take it to the kitchen and sure enough there was still enough moisture that the water redissolved the crystals and ruined the batch. Probably my impatience was what got to me and that’s the reason I created this impromptu and lazy way of creating natron within 2 minutes.

Mix everything like above:

  • (1 part salt, 1 part baking soda, just enough water to dissolve in a bowl)
  • Place a microwave safe lid over the mixture in case it splatters.
  • Microwave the mixture on high for 1 minute.
  • If the natron still has some water, microwave for 30 seconds more.
  • When you take it out you’ll have a perfectly dried batch of natron.

Because the bowl will be hot, let it cool for 5 minutes, then break apart the natron chunks with a butter knife and then grind it with the blunt end the knife or with a spoon. The natron in the jar is the batch I made using a microwave.

Shrine Safety

Candles and burning incense are beautiful, but can be dangerous if left unattended. I have a cat so I’ve come up with safer alternatives to using traditional candles and a lighter during my rituals. Here are some safer options I use during my daily ritual.

Isis Fire

Isiopolis

It is deep winter. For many of us, it is an extremely cold winter this year. So our topic for the day is an antidote to butt freezing. Let us warm ourselves beside the Holy Fire of Isis. For Isis is a fiery Goddess indeed.

In Egypt, fire could represent life and renewal—very Isiac concepts as you well know. During his rejuvenating Sed festival, the king kindled a “new” fire that symbolized his magically renewed life. The Sun was known to be a living fire Whose birthplace and home is the Isle of Fire. The protective uraeus serpent Who coils on the brow of Re, as well as other Deities and royals, spits poisonous fire and fiery light comes forth from Her throat. Many Goddesses took the form of this fire-spitting serpent, among Them, from an early period, Isis.

The Egyptians also considered fire to be purifying and protective. In Late…

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Kemetic Round Table: My Daily Ritual

When I first came to Kemeticism I didn’t even know it was a religion being practiced by anyone. Isis called me and I answered in the only way I knew how. I created my own ritual without books and hardly any historical knowledge. I just built a ceremony that seemed right to me.

Coming from a previously Catholic background my earliest ritual was heavily influenced by the structure of the Mass. I would light the candles, say my prayers (in a very formal fashion) and then had my own “Communion.” Instead of the Eucharist I substituted a cup of milk to represent the life-giving milk of Isis. As I read about other people’s rituals in offering bread, milk and water to the gods, the Communion part felt a bit out of place, so I dropped it.

This is my current ritual I use:

Ring a bell

Light candles (LED electric ones)

Prayer: All hail to you Netjeru. Receive this light. May it shine upon You as you shine upon me. Praise to you Sekhmet (place a candle before the statue). Praise to you Djehuty (candle). Praise to you Isis (candle). Praise to you Osiris (candle). Praise to you Anubis. Praise to your Horus (candle).

With the LED candles burning, light some incense. I use an electric cigarette lighter which is flameless and lights up the incense beautifully.

Prayer: Receive this incense from me, most pure. 

Instead of putting the incense in the holder I tend to wave the incense stick gently before each statue almost like a wand. I discovered I could create a smoke ring with the incense which is very cool and beautiful with the lit candles. After I get enough scent, I extinguish the incense in the ashes as I don’t like too much incense in the room.

Now bring out your offerings. It varies depending on the time of day I pray. Most of my offerings are based on what I’m willing to eat or drink at that time as I don’t want it to go to waste. Of late I’ve been offering them my breakfast which often means a cup of milk and some cornflakes.

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I take the cup first and wave it once left to right before the Netjeru before raising it up in the middle above the Isis statue before setting it down.

Prayer: Take this milk. Drink and be refreshed.

Now I take the food offering. Often I’ll customize the prayer depending on what food item it is. If I baked it or made the offering I’ll add it to the prayer. Here are some examples.

Offerings:

Cake:

(Formal) Take this cake which I baked for you. May you enjoy its sweetness.

(Informal) Enjoy this cake I made tonight. It tastes great and I thought you’d like it.

Cereal

(Formal) Take this cereal. May it nourish and restore you.

(Informal) Yeah, I know it’s only breakfast cereal, but it’s pretty good. Enjoy.

Fruit:

(Formal) Enjoy this sweet, delicious banana. May it nourish and restore you.

(Informal) Okay, I know a banana is a strange offering, but it’s yummy. Give it a try.

So why the informal offering form? Because the Netjeru sometimes have a sense of weird humor and chuckle with some of my offerings – like breakfast cereal to Sekhmet. Set thinks the banana is hilarious.

Now once I give the offerings and they’re sitting in the shrine, it’s time for the active prayer. You can petition them. If you want to do divination (I use Egyptian style tarot) or heka this is a good time. Sometimes I’ll recite a litany to Isis if I have nothing to say or am not feeling like She’s present that night. Most of my prayers are more like a conversation. I mostly talk with Isis, telling Her about what is bothering me or what I must do to improve a situation.

Now this is the most important part …

You must remain silent after you’ve spoken. I’ve gotten some incredible insights from the Netjeru in that silence, but you must be willing to be quiet and wait for them to talk. Sometimes in the silence you can just enjoy each other’s company and feel Their presence. In my experience, the Netjeru’s arrival is often pretty strong and dramatic. You can be sitting there, sensing nothing and then all of a sudden They are there in the room with you. It’s an amazing experience.

For closing prayer:

(Standing up, I raise my arms, palms facing outward toward Them)

I thank You for Your time, wisdom and love. Help me to grow into a better person and live ever in Ma’at.

Ring the bell and the ritual is over.

I turn off the LED candles and take the food and beverage offerings down to the kitchen to eat.

This sounds like a very long ritual, but I’ve performed this in 5 minutes especially during a very busy day or when the god phone is silent. I try to have a daily ritual even if I’m busy. I notice I benefit more from the pause in my day to pray and communicate with the Netjeru. The insights and wisdom They have given me far exceeds any offerings and prayers I give them during my daily ritual.

Here are some of tips to a successful daily ritual:

  • Keep the ritual simple. A simple ritual is one you’re most likely to use
  • Don’t make it too long. A time-consuming ritual will discourage you from practicing often.
  • Miss a ritual? It’s okay, but make sure it doesn’t become a habit. The quickest way to kill a relationship is to never “call.”
  • Use plates and dishes you can run in the dishwasher. Okay, I know this is very unorthodox, but having easy to clean dishes for your rituals means you’ll do it more often.
  • Don’t get hung up on the little details. Again, very unorthodox, but don’t be afraid to change and modify the ritual to make it your own.
  • Getting stuck in a rut with your ritual? Change it up!
  • Give from the heart. Fancy offerings and elaborate rituals don’t make up for not giving from the heart.

As a new Kemetic I’m just starting to get involved in a community, mostly online. After 10 years in Catholicism I think one of the beauties of Kemeticism is how individual and unique it can be. You don’t have to practice a ritual a certain way just because of your ancestors. It’s like in Ancient Egypt where each city/region had its own patron god/goddess and creation myth. We now are following the same tradition by discovering unique ways to worship and creating a relationship with the Netjeru.

A Southern Girl’s Guide to Hospitality

MystikNomad

Let’s face it: a lot of the information out there about interacting with the Kindreds and establishing a devotional practice is damned intimidating for a beginner.

Most of us in the West don’t have a devotional tradition to draw on, and when we try to find others who can maybe show us the way we drown in technical terms and ideas we can’t understand yet. Add in the arguments about the info that is available and it can be more confusing than helpful.

I’m not an expert by any means, but I have been doing this for awhile. I figured I’d provide my perspective for any beginners out there simply looking for a place to start.

Maybe you’re new to the whole idea of hard polytheism, and just don’t know how to interact with entities who are real individuals and not theoretical constructs. Or maybe you’ve had an experience you…

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